The Fear

Emotionally, I'm pretty bi-polar. Yesterday I was ecstatic about going to Russia, due to receiving some rather awesome news about where I will be staying. Today however, I am hovering somewhere between the jittery nervousness and the scared shitless mark, to the extent that I've almost burst into tears several times, and am fairly certain I've developed lightspeed-onset hypertension. It is quite difficult to deal with, but google reliably informs me that cottage cheese is excellent for dealing with anxiety, so I have upped my daily intake to 2 tubs. This decision was purely health based, and not at all related to my ever strengthening addiction to the stuff, of course.

It's a bit stupid really, I was fine until I saw on facebook that my friend had said she was speaking Russian all the time at uni. I conveniently completely ignored the earlier part in which she declared 'I can't speak Russian!' and focussed my entire emotional energy (well now doesn't that sound pretentious? It must remain.) and self confidence on that second bit. We all know that Facebook is basically the Bible of teh interwebz and as such the only possible answer is that my friend has, in 2 days, become completely fluent in spoken Russian and has probably already landed a job in the vodka and potato industry whilst fitting in trips to the bank to finalise the mortgage on her apartment and dacha.
Perhaps she will be so kind as to give me a cleaning job where I can practise my case endings on her many bilingual children who will be speaking better Russian than me by age 2.

 

Oy. I need to switch my brain off.

The happier news is that it turns out I'm living with my friend who is already out there, so the extreme stress of getting lost (I have zero sense of direction, suspected dyspraxia or something I'm told, only I couldn't be arsed with paying £250 to get it officially diagnosed-I'll still get lost, lose my balance and say 'lawn the mow' instead of 'mow the lawn', just I'll have some kind of certificate to wave around to justify it) and general newby-ness should be lessened. I'm told it is 20 minutes to uni (in a straight line, hurrah!), next to a book shop, concert hall and chinese (I'm not sure I'm ready to tackle Russian restaurants just yet, had a bit of an embarrassing experience in the last one) and there is a cat. I shall stock up on allergy tablets. Love animals (more than people, often) and I did say I'd be ok with pets, but their fur hates me. The hoz is lovely and not insane, which is a massive bonus. Being with someone I'm friends with already (and she is very lovely) should make things less stressful health wise too, since she is used to my general state of wreckage and familiar with the lols of the Russian hospital system. Not a great deal of fun for her though, I suspect.

So this I am pleased about. I have been rasked to take over some cochlear implant batteries from a friend of the hoz, for their relative's friend...three times removed....or something. Bit ridiculous that you can get the hearing aids and implants in Russia, but not the replacement batteries. I never knew just how difficult it is to buy these batteries, but I'll get them. My flight is now Sunday at 9.15 am.
I am flying from the busiest airport in Europe, to Moscow, on the 10 year anniversary of 9/11.
Didn't ever suspect that would be the case 10 years ago, when my Dad walked in to find me sitting on the breakfast bar watching cbbc, looked at me, and asked 'you don't know, do you?'
I had dumplings for dinner that day, for the first time. Didn't like them. Strange memories.
I have some very clear memories of Russia last year, most being based in a neurological ward. One in a car, driving from the train station to my flat, with abba playing on the radio. That struck me as a little weird.

My visa invitation has yet to arrive. Tomorrow is Wednesday (ok, today. I'm nocturnal). We were told it would arrive Tuesday or Wednesday, so I'll have to be up in the morning and hope.
Then the fun of the visa agency.

I'm a little excited to see the security guard again.

Russia is an A5 only country

Today (or yesterday, as it is now), I took a trip to the Russian visa agency in London. Flying on Saturday but only having just received the pieces of paper I need (uni hadn't given me my letter of support, ta for that...), it was kind of crucial I got it done today.
All I wanted was to submit my documents, pay my money and return the next day to pick up my urgent visa. What actually happened, was none of that. What actually happened, was 5 hours of hanging around, calls to and from RLUS and Russia, several emails and faxes to the visa agency and an increasing intimacy with the security guard who took pity on me and kept skipping me ahead in the many queues which featured in the whole episode. He was nice.
I did not, however, come away with any prospect of a Russian visa before Saturday. Nor any time soon, really. See, Russian visas require several documents depending on which you're applying for. Mine, a student visa, calls for an invitation (which was scanned over in minute proportions ridiculously late), a HIV test certificate and a letter of support from the uni as well as the usual form and photos.
I had EVERYTHING in order. mostly. I had to reprint the form because it 'wasn't clear enough', even though the 2nd one looked exactly the same and was accepted, but that was not the key issue.

'Today is just not my day'

No. The key issue that was stopping me from getting my visa application in, the major flaw in my documents which obviously must be causing some extreme threat to the Russian domestic security situation, a crucial and underestimated importance-the size of my invitation. It wouldn't print any larger than 3/4 of A5. And Russia, it seems, is an A5 only country. Begrudgingly they will accept A4. No bigger, because that's rubbing it in their faces that you've actually managed to get an invitation, but definitely no smaller than A5 either because you've probably drawn it with a felt tip, filled it in and designed an elaborate stamp with a crayon- and they wouldn't be able to tell because all the sodding stamps look the same anyway and are impossible to tell apart.

I was pissed. off. There were frantic phone calls, faxes and emails to get a bigger copy sent to the agency. They still weren't happy. There was then a call to Russia to send over the original so the print out would be clearer (newly invented issue-the print out was unreadable) but since it was an issue with their printer and they wouldn't adjust the settings, I left visa-less.

What this does mean, however, is an extra week to sort my life out before I go to Russia. RLUS are paying for the original invitation to be couriered over to me from Russia and rebooking me on a flight next Sunday.
Considering that the past month or so have been stressful beyond belief for one reason or another, I'm quite grateful for it. Almost certainly I'd get ill very quickly once I got there if I was still travelling on Saturday, so this should give me some time to give my poor broken body some time to recover.

It also gives me time to put another complaint in about my department. Had they given me my letter when they were meant to, this wouldn't have happened. It's not the first time they've utterly screwed up. I don't get how intelligent people seem totally unable to engage their brains when it comes to matters of common sense.


Ok. Rant over. Russian bureaucracy exists at every stage. I shall deal.

Russian bureaucracy

On a more uplifting note, my DSA equipment arrived today. I can't actually open the boxes myself, because as a 'disabled' student, I am not trusted and must wait for a technician to show me how to turn on my laptop.
And install all the software. And generally do everything I can do myself, except in a way that won't lead to a grey screen with the word VIRUS flashing at me 2 months later. I see their point.
I am excited to get the Sims 3 on there. I anticipate it filling long cold Russian evenings. Because studying isn't going to hack it.

Think I'll go traumatise my sims in the catacombs now, actually.

blah blah blah 7 days blah

Countdown Calculator

Your time: 1:13AM Sat August 27, 2011
Target date: 9:00AM Sat September 3, 2011

Time remaining until this event is 175 hours, 46 minutes and 6 seconds.

Time remaining until this event is one week and less than one day.

Have decided it is not acceptable to bring my ninja turtles snuggie with me to Russia. This does however mean that my hoody with bear ears is an absolute necessity. As is the donkey hat.

Acceptable and Mature Winter wear

Sometimes I wonder if my lack of shame needs addressing.


I had my last exam today. The lecturer saw me when I came out (an hour early) and tried to convince me that I was merely being negative when I said I failed. Lovely a sentiment as that is, I most definitely did fail. Whyyyy do Russian verbs all look the same? And why is retaining Russian vocab to use in essays so difficult compared to French? Mon Dieu. Anyway. Exams are over, I am sure I have passed one...Hurray! I missed one thanks to illness and messed up 2. But I do know a lot about history, so I will at least be able to tell Russians who lived in the Soviet Union exactly what a dipstick Stalin was. Once I learn to speak Russian I will, anyway. 

Should be more concerned about the poor performance but I appear to be ill again, look like a chipmunk thanks to swollen glands and am extremely dosed up on codeine. Plus it's been fairly hellish just getting to this point so I'm glad to have got even as far as exams this year.

Visa invitations still aren't through but we are promised that the scans will be emailed to us by Monday. Ya ochen' lyublyu russian bureaucracy...really, what would a trip to Russia be without the excessive stress caused by the application process?

In other news, my town was subject to the ridiculous rioting and looting that took place in London this month, and the straw from the riot police horseboxes has only just cleared from Tesco car park. HMV was the worst looted and there was generally a lot of mindless damage, including the burning down of a major Sony building, but fortunately for me Milletts was never going to be a target and I bought essential thermal layers a few days after, when shops started opening again. If the rioters had a few more brain cells to rub together then they could have looted themselves some nice wet weather gear and not have been put off their 'political protest' by the drizzle.
I was angry. But then Boris Johnson brought his awesome hair to my town and I met them both. My life was pretty much made.
                       

 

I heart his hair. 

       One week til Russia. Time for a haircut,         the ultimate preparation for any major life event. Memories of arriving in Russia last year, getting off the train with our backpacks and having our names called out and assigned to our hosts like evacuees... this time we go by minibus from Moscow to Yaroslavl' and get dropped off where we are staying. Worst part without a doubt.
Wonder if I should be getting a gift for my host? Hmm. Must find out protocol. Then schedule in a trip to John Lewis.

Shall continue to ignore list of things to do the length of my arm in favour of denial, for now. Time for some midnight cottage cheese.

4 weeks and 1 day

Countdown Calculator

Your time: 1:29AM Fri August 5, 2011
Target date: 9:00AM Sat September 3, 2011

Time remaining until this event is 703 hours, 30 minutes and 16 seconds.

4 weeks and one day.

Bugger. 

I keep losing my 'Important stuff to do before I move to Russia' lists, and as the above shows, the event is getting a little close for comfort, so the reasoning behind this blog is to record such things online, where they should be safe. News of the World is out of business, so that reduces the risk of my information going astray considerably at any rate. I can have a ramble while I'm at it. I'm good at rambling.

Going through the visa process to get to Yaroslavl on 3rd September at the moment. Staying there until 23rd December and then repeating the entire process to go to St Petersburg some time in February. 

I was declared HIV free today, which is nice. Got a lovely little 'certificate' declaring the fact. Slightly disappointed at the lack of ceremony surrounding it though. A triple folded piece of paper shoved into a 'recycled' envelope (receptionist is a keen green party voter, I know this through eavesdropping while I was waiting at the last appointment) which was previously addressed to one 'Gemma Yates', (but her name and details were subject to stringent security and privacy procedures, as clearly indicated by the ballpoint scribbles through them, so it's ok) is not quite the oak framed, formally presented Magna Carta-esque kinda affair I had in mind.  It doesn't even have a stamp on it, just a 'Name, DOB blah blah was tested for HIV on X date and tested negative', with the consultant's signature underneath. The Russians won't like that. They need at least two pretentious looking stamps to take anything seriously. I look forward to a Russkii repeat of the 45 minute ordeal that was attempting to extract my blood to do the HIV test. At least I won't have to sit with my arms and legs in buckets of hot water out there, they're much less picky over actually being able to feel a vein before they plunge needles into your skin, it's more a case of having a poke around under the skin and when the blood appears, success! I'm sure they'll easily outdo the 12 attempts it took this time round.    

RLUS have sent an email round saying that the invitation letters are being delayed, so we might not get them until August 18th, meaning that the visas can't be applied for until then. Whilst this should be a source of anxiety, in case the visas get delayed on top of that, since I wasn't actually going to be issued with one until passing my exams which end on 26th August I can't say I'm too bothered. I'm more worried about not actually being able to speak Russian, which is a bit of an issue when you're facing the prospect of living with a host in Russia from September to June. Ok, there's a bit of a break over Christmas when I switch from Yaroslavl to St Petersburg, but still. Must make a list of essential vocab to learn. 'Bedpan' is going to feature. Not going down that line again if I get hospitalised this time round.


Also need to make a proper list of things I need to take with me. Then cut it in half. How you're supposed to pack to cover temperatures of anything from +30 to -30 degrees in 20kg is beyond me. It's also going to take me a while to decide which of my many hats and scarves to take and which to leave. I'm a little miffed as to how I managed to end up with quite as many as I do. Also, is it socially acceptable at my age to try to stuff in my teenage mutant ninja turtles Raphael snuggie? He was totally the best one.
Pro Plus must feature. Being antisocial at the best of times, I don't do well when I'm expected to make an effort/be sociable when I'm tired. Dreading the first few weeks when you have to be happy and sociable and make an effort to meet people. Possessing the energy levels of a sloth does not serve me well in these contexts. But Pro Plus overdoses have saved me on many occasions, so fingers crossed.
Need to make copies of every important document I own.

Need to get some awesomely flattering passport photos, because apparently you need them out there.

Need to unpack from getting back from uni.

Need to learn Russian language, Russian history and Russian political thought by the 22nd. 

Need to find passport. Should probably make that one a priority...

Need to make a real things to do list.

Going to go get some cottage cheese and ponder all the bad things that could happen in Russia, because that's what happens at 3am. 

Must also think of positives to living in Russia.

Lots of tvorog, I guess...

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